My husband and I took the kids down to the local park yesterday. We took some family photographs. I looked at the photos this morning. It is a hard, swift punch to the stomach to see how fat I have become. It's the trigger that I need to push myself into doing something, anything.
It's all about respect.
Respect my body, respect myself.
I'm feeling so fucking angry with myself. That doesn't help with the whole 'you have to love yourself first' bullshit comments usually vomited out by others in times like now.
I'm worried about prep starting next year and being the fat mum and being excluded. I think that is why I so vehemently reject associating too much with other parents. If I reject them first, then they won't be able to reject me. It's fucked.