Today I am one day further away from my old self

My son woke me up very early this morning - 3.47am to be exact.  I managed to put him back to sleep and then instead of my normal routine of making myself a coffee and then catching up on the news, I decided to put on my running clothes and do a session on the treadmill. 

While I was running, I had the tv on in the background.  They have an interview with the Toronto mayor that was caught last year doing drugs and being a bit of an arse I think.  They showed a bit of an interview done in November last year where he said something about reinterviewing him in 5 or 6 months and he would show you that he has made changes in his life.  I couldn't really hear what he was saying because the treadmill was too loud but I heard him say that he had lost some weight. 

I started thinking about how I might have approached that interview if I were him.  And as I was thinking I translated it into my own journey towards finding and building my inner spirit.  Change is difficult.  It's very easy to revert back to your old habits and your old way of being. Especially if you have been doing something for many many years.  So while I was running I had a thought pop into my head. 

Today I am one day further away from my old self.

It was kind of like a light bulb going on in my head.  This is going to be a long journey.  This is a marathon, not a sprint.  I find that it is really easy to get discouraged and give up because the destination seems so far away and that it feels like it is so hard to achieve.  Really, I am looking for a massive shift in the way that I live (of course I haven't defined what that is yet, but I know that I don't want to continue how I have been in the past). 

There's a concept out there called the two degree shift.  Basically, imagine you are in a space shuttle hurtling towards Earth.  Just a two degree shift in direction can mean that you can completely fly past the Earth and never be able to get home again (dramatic, right?).  So two degree shifts can make a huge difference.  What that means for me is that I have big changes to make in my life but I can succeed by making small changes that are easier to achieve and the cumulative effect of all of these makes a massive difference in my life - in time.  It is all about time. 

So where I was going with my original thoughts on the treadmill was that each day is a chance, an opportunity for me to rid myself of my past bad habits (both food, relationships etc) and to make a change on that day.  It might be a simple as not putting butter on my toast that day or showing real joy and happiness when I see my husband and kids in the morning and to look them in the eye and tell them that I love them.  Little changes can mean big results. 

I also like to think that it is a bit organic.  What I mean by that is I don't want to write a list of all of the things that if I do right now will change my life.  It's too forced.  It's too much of ticking off a list.  It's too easy to set the expectations too high and to fail.  Today I want my husband and my children to feel love and happiness from me.  No grumpy mum. 

What is your focus?

Eating too much

I've eaten too much today.  We went to a friend's house for a birthday lunch and I overate.  I've noticed that in just two short weeks, my stomach seems to have shrunk.  I actually feel much fuller after eating a big meal.  Normally I would have felt full but then would have come home and had something for dinner as well.

There will be no dinner for me tonight.  Just a cup of tea or coffee if I can fit in it.

I hate overeating.

This morning though, knowing that we were going for lunch, I ate my normal breakfast of Special K and banana.  Then I exercised for 20 minutes (running for 10 minutes) and burned off 188 calories.

For lunch I ate roast chicken breast, roast lamb, roast potatoes, steamed beans, asparagus and carrots.  All with gravy (of course).  The lunch probably wasn't too bad.  It was probably the same amount that I would have eaten (now) for lunch and dinner.

Where I went wrong was the sweet stuff.  I ate a piece of orange cake and a piece of lemon slice.  I also had some custard, blueberries and figs.  Oh my gosh, fresh figs!!! Fresh figs are amazing!  It is the first time that I have ever tried them and for those that haven't had them, I can't describe how deliciously soft and sweet these little morsels from heaven are.

I also had two glasses of wine - which probably contributed to the over eating because I let my guard down.

I'm too tired to write much more.  It's only 6pm and I'm desperately waiting for my almost four year old to finish eating so that I can get her to bed and then I can get some much needed sleep!  

Meal Plan: 1,200 calories (summer)

So instead of posting a screenshot of my daily calories from www.calorieking.com, I've decided to do up some basic meal plans of the types of meals that I am trying to eat on a regular basis.  I don't do this every single day - especially the lunch meal.  For me, it is easier to bring salad ingredients into work (rocket, baby spinach leaves, carrot, capsicum, cucumber and mushrooms) and make a salad at lunchtime (adding some protein - usually tinned tuna because it is quick and easy).

The dessert by the way is delicious!  My four year old daughter doesn't like bananas - avoids them like the plague - loved her special ice cream.  I added a tablespoon of low-fat greek yoghurt on top (after blending) so that it was a little creamier.  But it is tasty even without it.  

Here are the links to the recipes:

• home-made low-fat hommus (coming)
• banana and raspberry ice cream (coming)
• date, oatmeal and walnut balls